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作者︰shyungchongzeng 來(lai)源︰文章閱讀網 時間(jian)︰2020-03-13 14:26 閱讀︰

 Dear Daughter:
親愛的女兒(er)
  As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.

當我們qiang) 凳shi)出(chu)哥倫(lun)比亞大學的時候,我想寫一封信給你,告訴(su)你盤旋在(zai)我腦中(zhong)的想法。

  First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.

首先,我想告訴(su)你我們為你感到特(te)別驕傲。進入哥倫(lun)比亞大學證明你是qie)桓ge)全(quan)面發展的優秀學生,你的學業、藝術和社交技能最(zui)近都(du)有卓越(yue)的表現,無論是你在(zai)微積(ji)分(fen)上得(de)了最(zui)高分(fen),完成自己典雅的時尚的設計,成功賣出(chu)繪制(zhi)的跑鞋(xie),還是在(zai)“模擬聯合(he)國”演說中(zhong)成為表現最(zui)突出(chu)的人之一,你毫無疑問已經是qie)桓ge)多才多藝的女孩(hai)。你的父母(mu)為你感到驕傲,你也應該像(xiang)我們qie)謊yang)為自己感到自豪。

  I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that "father-daughter connection" which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finally fell asleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.

我會永遠du)ji)得(de)第(di)一次將你抱在(zai)臂彎的那qie)豢蹋 恢中(zhong)孿始?dong)的感覺瞬間(jian)觸(chu)動(dong)了我的心(xin),那是qie)恢鐘澇度夢姨兆淼母(mu)芯  jiu)是那種將我們的一生都(du)聯結在(zai)一起的“父女情結”。我也常常想起我ye) 糯咼 qu)輕搖你入睡,當我把ya)惴畔碌氖焙潁 3>醯de)既解脫又惋惜,一方面我想,她終于睡著了!另一方面,我又多麼希望自己可以(yi)多抱你一會兒(er)。我還記(ji)得(de)帶你到運動(dong)場,看著你玩得(de)那麼開心(xin),你是那樣(yang)可愛,所有人都(du)非常愛你。

  You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.

你不(bu)但長得(de)可愛,而且(qie)是個(ge)特(te)別乖巧(qiao)的孩(hai)子。你從(cong)不(bu)吵鬧、為人著想,既听(ting)話又有禮貌。當你三歲我們建房(fang)子yong)氖焙潁 扛ge)周末十多個(ge)小時你都(du)靜(jing)靜(jing)地(di)跟(gen)著我們去運建築材料,三餐在(zai)車上吃著漢堡,唱著兒(er)歌,唱累了就(jiu)睡覺,一點都(du)不(bu)嬌氣(qi)不(bu)抱怨(yuan)。你去上周日的中(zhong)文學習班(ban)時,盡(jin)管一點也不(bu)覺得(de)有趣,卻依然很努力。我們做父母(mu)的能有像(xiang)你這樣(yang)的女兒(er)真(zhen)的mu)械椒淺A href="http://www.duwenzhang.com/huati/xingyun/index1.html">幸yi)/A>。

  You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.

你也是個(ge)很好的姐姐。雖然你們姐妹(mei)以(yi)前(qian)也bu)崠蚣埽  淺?蠛螅 忝欽zhen)的mou)晌 撕A href="http://www.duwenzhang.com/huati/pengyou/index1.html">朋(peng)友。妹(mei)妹(mei)很愛你,很喜bu)/A>逗你笑,她把ya)愕背傷陌裱yang)看待。我們qiang) A href="http://www.duwenzhang.com/huati/likai/index1.html">離開哥大後,她非常想你,我知道(dao)你也很想她。世界(jie)上最(zui)寶貴(gui)的就(jiu)是家(jia)人。和父母(mu)一樣(yang),妹(mei)妹(mei)就(jiu)是你最(zui)可以(yi)信任的人。隨著年齡(ling)的增(zeng)長,你們姐妹(mei)之間(jian)的情誼不(bu)變,你們互相照應,彼此關(guan)心(xin),這就(jiu)是我最(zui)希望見到的事情了。在(zai)你的大學四年,有空時你一定要常常跟(gen)妹(mei)妹(mei)視頻聊(liao)聊(liao)天,寫寫電(dian)子郵件。

  College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question "what good is this course". I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you: "Education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten." What I mean by that is the materials taught isn't as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn't critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.

大學將是你人生最(zui)重要的時光(guang),在(zai)大學里你會發現學習的真(zhen)諦(di)。你以(yi)前(qian)經常會問到 “這個(ge)課程有什麼cong)謾保 饈歉ge)好問題(ti),但是我希望你理解︰“教育的真(zhen)諦(di)就(jiu)是當你忘記(ji)一切所學到的東西之後所剩下的東西。”我的意思(si)是,最(zui)重要的不(bu)是你學到的具(ju)體的知識,而是你學習新事物和解決新問題(ti)的能力。這才是大學學習的真(zhen)正(zheng)意義——這將是你從(cong)被動(dong)學習轉向自主學習的階段(duan),之後你會變成一個(ge)很好的自學者。所以(yi),即便你所學的不(bu)是生活里所急(ji)需的,也要認真(zhen)看待大學里的每ken)幻毆 危 jiu)算學習的技能你會忘記(ji),學習的能力是你將受用終身的。

  Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don't believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely "black and white", and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called "critical thinking", and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said "I don't agree with you, but I'll support you." After the years, I have learned this isn't just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.

不(bu)要被教條所束縛,任何問題(ti)都(du)沒有一個(ge)唯一的簡單(dan)的答案。還記(ji)得(de)當我幫助你高中(zhong)的辯論課程時,我總是讓你站在(zai)你不(bu)認可的那qie)環嚼lai)辯論嗎(ma)?我這麼做的理由(you)就(jiu)是希望你能夠(gou)理解︰看待一個(ge)問題(ti)不(bu)應該非黑即白zhu) 怯瀉芏嚳椒 徒jiao)度。當你意識到這點的時候,你就(jiu)會成為一個(ge)很好的解決問題(ti)者。這就(jiu)是“批判的思(si)維”——你的一生都(du)會需要的最(zui)重要的思(si)考方式(shi),這也意味著你還需要包容(rong)和支持不(bu)同于你的其他觀點。我永遠du)ji)得(de)我去找我的博士kang)際μti)出(chu)了一個(ge)新論題(ti),他告訴(su)我︰“我不(bu)同意你,但我支持你。”多年後,我認識到這不(bu)僅僅是qian)rong),而是qie)恢峙惺shi)思(si)考,更是令(ling)人折服的領導(dao)風(feng)格,現在(zai)這也變成了我的一部(bu)分(fen)。我希望這也能成為你的一部(bu)分(fen)。

  Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don't be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement, he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don't worry too much about what job you will have, and don't be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks "it's not useful" : ) Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.

在(zai)大學里你要追隨自己的激情和興趣,選你感興趣的課程,不(bu)要困擾于別人怎(zen)麼說或(huo)怎(zen)麼想。史(shi)蒂夫•喬布斯曾(zeng)經說過,在(zai)大學里你的熱情會創造出(chu)很多點,在(zai)你隨後的生命中(zhong)你會把這些點串聯起來(lai)。在(zai)他著名(ming)的斯坦福畢業典禮演講中(zhong),他舉了一個(ge)很好的例子︰他在(zai)大學里修了看似毫無用處的書法,而十年後,這成了隻(ping)果Macintosh里漂亮字庫(ku)的基(ji)礎,而因為Macintosh有這麼好的字庫(ku),才帶來(lai)了桌面出(chu)版(ban)和今天的辦公軟件(例如(ru)微軟Office)。他對書法的探(tan)索(suo)就(jiu)是qie)桓ge)點,而隻(ping)果Macintosh把多個(ge)點聯結成了一條線。所以(yi)不(bu)要太擔心(xin)將來(lai)你要做什麼樣(yang)的工作,也不(bu)要太急(ji)功近利。假如(ru)你喜bu)度沼 huo)韓語,就(jiu)去學吧(ba),即使你爸(ba)爸(ba)曾(zeng)認為那沒什麼cong)茫海┘jin)興地(di)選擇(ze)你的點吧(ba),要有信念有一天機(ji)緣(yuan)dao)戳偈保 慊 業階約旱娜松姑  chu)一條美麗的曲(qu)線。

  Do your best in classes, but don't let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don't graduate with honors. So please don't give yourself pressure. During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don't be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.

在(zai)功課上要盡(jin)力,但不(bu)要給自己太多壓力。你媽媽和我yi)zai)成績上對你沒什麼要求,只要你能順利畢業並在(zai)這四年里學到了些東西,我們就(jiu)會很高興了。即便你畢業時沒有獲得(de)優異(yi)的mou)杉  愕母(mu)緶lun)比亞學位也將帶你走得(de)很遠。所以(yi)別給自己壓力。在(zai)你高中(zhong)生活的最(zui)後幾個(ge)月,因為壓力比較小,大學申請也結束了,你過得(de)很開心(xin),但是在(zai)最(zui)近的幾個(ge)星期,你好像(xiang)開始緊張起來(lai)。(你注意到你緊張時會咬指甲嗎(ma)?)千(qian)萬別擔心(xin),最(zui)重要的是你在(zai)學習,你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成績只不(bu)過是虛榮的人用以(yi)吹噓和慵懶的人所恐懼的無聊(liao)數字而已,而你既不(bu)虛榮也不(bu)hui)祭痢

  Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don't worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don't stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder.

最(zui)重要的是在(zai)大學里你要交一些朋(peng)友,快樂生活。大學的朋(peng)友往往是qiao)zhong)最(zui)好的朋(peng)友,因為在(zai)大學里你和朋(peng)友ya)芄gou)近距離交往。另外(wai),在(zai)一塊(kuai)兒(er)成長,一起獨立,很自然地(di)你們就(jiu)會緊緊地(di)系在(zai)一起,成為密(mi)友。你應該挑(tao)選一些真(zhen)誠誠懇(ken)的朋(peng)友,跟(gen)他們親近,別在(zai)乎他們的愛好、成績、外(wai)表甚至性格。你在(zai)高中(zhong)的最(zui)後兩(liang)年已經交到了一些真(zhen)正(zheng)的朋(peng)友,所以(yi)盡(jin)可以(yi)相信自己的直覺,再交一些新朋(peng)友吧(ba)。你是qie)桓ge)真(zhen)誠的人,任何人都(du)會喜bu)陡gen)你做朋(peng)友的,所以(yi)要自信、外(wai)向、主動(dong)一點,如(ru)果你喜bu)賭mou)人,就(jiu)告訴(su)她,就(jiu)算她拒絕了,你也沒有損失什麼。以(yi)最(zui)大的善意去對人,不(bu)要有成見,要寬容(rong)。人無完人,只要他們很真(zhen)誠,就(jiu)信任他們,對他們友善。他們將給你相同的回(hui)報,這是我ye)曬ΦA href="http://www.duwenzhang.com/huati/mimi/index1.html">秘密(mi)——我以(yi)誠待人,信任他人(除非他們做了失信于我的事)。有人告訴(su)這樣(yang)有時我會被佔ji)鬩耍 鞘嵌緣(yuan)模  俏銥梢yi)告訴(su)你︰以(yi)誠待人讓我得(de)到的遠遠超過我失去的。在(zai)我做管理的18年里,我學到一件很重要的事——要想得(de)到他人的信任和尊重,只有先去信任和尊重他人。無論是管理、工作、交友,這點都(du)值得(de)你參考。

  Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.

要和你高中(zhong)時代的朋(peng)友保持聯系,但是不(bu)要用他們來(lai)取代大學的友誼,也不(bu)要把全(quan)部(bu)的時間(jian)都(du)花在(zai)老(lao)朋(peng)友身上,因為那樣(yang)你就(jiu)會失去交新朋(peng)友的機(ji)會了。

  Start planning for your summers early what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you.

你還要早(zao)點開始規劃你的暑假——你想做什麼?你想呆(dai)在(zai)哪兒(er)?你想學點什麼?你在(zai)大學里學習是否(fu)會讓你有新的打算?我覺得(de)你學習藝術設計的計ping) 懿bu)錯,你應該想好你該去哪兒(er)學習相應的課程。我們當然希望你回(hui)到北京,但是最(zui)終的決定是你的。

  Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver's seat this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you'll love it!

不(bu)管是暑假計ping)   喂婊  只huo)是選專業,管理時間(jian),你都(du)應該負(fu)責你的人生。過去不(bu)管是qiao)昵胙 !?杓瓶甕wai)活動(dong)或(huo)者選擇(ze)最(zui)初的課程,我都(du)從(cong)旁幫助了你不(bu)少(shao)。以(yi)後,我仍(reng)然會一直站你身旁,但是現在(zai)是你自己掌舵的時候了。我ye)3<ji)起我生命中(zhong)那些令(ling)人振(zhen)奮的時刻——在(zai)幼兒(er)園決定跳級,決定轉到計算機(ji)科學專業,決定離開學術界(jie)選擇(ze)Apple,決定回(hui)中(zhong)國,決定選擇(ze)Google,乃至最(zui)近選擇(ze)創辦我的新公司jin)S心(xin)芰 醒≡ze)意味著你會過上自己he)胍 納睢I 淘 耍 悴bu)能過別人想要你過的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的mu)芯  shi)試(shi)吧(ba),你會愛上它的!

  I told your mom I'm writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: "just ask her to take care of herself." Simple but deeply caring that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don't feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

我告訴(su)你媽媽我yi)zai)di)湊夥廡牛 仕惺裁聰?閱闥檔模 肓訟耄 怠叭盟煤謎展俗約骸保 薌虻dan)卻飽含著真(zhen)切的關(guan)心(xin)——這一向是你深愛的媽媽的特(te)點。這短短的一句話,是她想提(ti)醒ya)愫芏嗍慮椋 熱ru)要記(ji)得(de)自己按時吃藥,好好睡覺,保持健康(kang)的飲食,適量運動(dong),不(bu)舒服的時候要去看醫(yi)生等(deng)等(deng)。中(zhong)國有句古語,說“ba)硤宸 簦 苤 改mu),不(bu)敢毀傷,孝之始jia)病薄U餼浠暗囊饉si)用比較新的方法詮釋就(jiu)是說︰父母(mu)最(zui)愛的就(jiu)是你,所以(yi)照顧好自己就(jiu)是孝順最(zui)好的方法。當你成為母(mu)親的那天,你就(jiu)會理解這些。在(zai)那天之前(qian),听(ting)媽媽的,你一定要好好照顧自己。

  College is the four years where you have:

  •the greatest amount of free time

大學是你自由(you)時間(jian)最(zui)多的四年。

  •the first chance to be independent

大學是你第(di)一次學會獨立的四年。

  •the most flexibility to change

大學是qiang)傷芐宰zui)強(qiang)的四年。

  •the lowest risk for making mistakes

大學是犯錯代價最(zui)低(di)的四年。

  So please treasure your college years make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.

所以(yi),珍惜你的大學時光(guang)吧(ba),好好利用你的空閑時間(jian),成為掌握(wo)自己命運的獨立思(si)考者,發展自己的多元化才能,大膽地(di)去嘗試(shi),通過不(bu)斷(duan)的mou)曬 吞tao)戰來(lai)學習和成長,成為融匯(hui)中(zhong)西的人才。

  When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said "bonne chance", which means "good luck" and "good courage". Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.

當我yi)zai)2005年面對人生最(zui)大的挑(tao)戰時,你給了我大大的擁(yong)抱,還跟(gen)我說了一句法語“bonne chance”。這句話代表“祝(zhu)你勇敢,祝(zhu)你好運!”現在(zai),我也想跟(gen)你說di) yang)的話,bonne chance,我的天使和公主,希望哥倫(lun)比亞成為你一生中(zhong)最(zui)快樂的四年,希望你成為你夢想成為的人!

      Love,
      愛你的,

      Dad (& Mom)

      爸(ba)爸(ba)(和媽媽)


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